emo...what should i do...

if only i know what to do...what should i do... recently my friend got together with a guy and pair up to be a couple... the thing that i admit i envy is that they are together at the same place...whenever they want to meet...they can just hang out together... i know comparison is able to kill...but its not my fault the thought strikes my mind rite? well...who will not wish that their partner is always there for them... another thing is that they juz got together...but they had already told their parents about the presence of another...though nagging is not able to be omitted...yet i think its a good practice...at least let them know about it... seriously i really envy them...they just got together if not mistaken not even one month only...yet me five month plus going to six dy?? yet i cant let my parents know openly about my relationship... why cant i juz let them know?? whenever i think bout this...other thoughts strike my mind...then the feeling to tell all of a sudden will juz disappear and i end up being emo...good!!

why cant i tell rite? why cant i?

im not that type of people who dun need a family...i need it and i love my family...what if my parents disallowed us to go together...what should i do...i have no idea at all...i will be lost for sure...before this there is a period of time my mum got nervous about this and sort of had a hint that i have a bf...somehow that time i told a few lies and manage to go through those questionaire without admitting i have one...and she knew about that guy dy...i told some description of him to her dy...one word that i cant get it out of my mind even though she is laughing when she says that...i know she might be joking or maybe she is really giving hint to me...i have no idea at all...she said: " what can u do with a furniture guy (cantonese-ka si lou)?"... you wun understand how do i feel at that time...actually perhaps deep inside myself i still mind...he nearly go to study in new era before this...but ended up his dad disallow him to becz he thought that 3years are too long...perhaps his dad want him to take over his business in this few years...that one i dunno...his dad said that why cant u study urself at home...he got into arguments with his dad...he said how can he learn those specific function of interior designing at home... the bad point is that i know he knows wat i worried and wat i felt when i get to know this...he keep apologize for giving me a hope that cant be realized...i do admit that be4 this i really thought that it might gets easier for me when he really go over to new era... i know im being selfish... im sorry for that my dear... im scare of explaining to my parents... how am i suppose to explain about all this working and distance stuffs... even when ppl got to know about this distance relationship...the first suprise question is sure to be "How u two got to know each other" out of curiousity and care or concern perhaps... the problem is on ME... my point of view... i have to be brave and think that it is nothing wrong... but as u know Rom is not built in one day... i need time too... and how long do i need ler... now it is so much better dy seriously... i dare to told my classmates, my friends, even letting them to meet him..my ex... well...i got improvement dy huh...congrates""" haihz...................................

positive...stays positive...but i know i cant...

things would have gone so much easier if im those easy-going person and not those who keep the problems to their heart and got emo any time i thought about it... i think too much about the consequences of everything... im improving dy man...im improving...keep in on gal... can i really solve this problem that has leave a mark on my heart for all this while??? can i??

i know my parents care about me...i love u all...

sorry to those im being selfish to especially u...i know i had always caused u to be emo...i really dunno wat to do my dear...